You're probably pretty awesome too.

Sometimes people can surprise you. Often we get so bogged down by the things we think are happening. Or by what is really happening and is so powerfully negative so we see it everywhere but it's actually happening in such small doses. Being out here in this madhouse of humanity,  I get to interact with people from all over the world and much of it is unfiltered. I do see people out of their element and thus uncomfortable and gruff but more often than not I see them tender and good.
Today I really saw people because I looked. Today I looked because people surprised me. Giving programs today meant quality time with two very different families and five heart-achingly enthusiastic, wonder-filled children. When I return to life with "news" I am  always reminded how "polarized" we are in this country. The Christians judge the gays, the liberals the conservatives, the this disapproves of the that. What I SEE instead is that people are usually pretty kind and tolerant of others. Three children with parents who identify loudly as conservative Christians can sit hand in hand with little boys with both a momma and a mommy. The kids can fawn over the bear pelts while their very "different" parents smile knowingly at each other over the five little heads. The adults can allow their children to experience people that they may in ideology "disapprove of" but in reality they treat with admiration and understanding. I see beauty and love and peace. Today I saw inept teens flirt shamelessly and awkwardly with others no matter their skin color or skin condition or language barriers. I saw people helping strangers discover a new bird or just what exactly "the ranger called that crazy yellow flower". I see people being pretty damn cool to the cross-country cyclists, the people who are lost, the really slow-talking grandpa... Sure, there are times when someone stands out and the crowd looks at them...maybe the little boy with the long hair and pink sparky shirt, or the backpacker with the dreads and the messy gear warming herself by the fire or the family with a beautiful diversity of skin tones walking down the boardwalk and I see the stares, I see the questioning but I also see the attempting to understand someone who isn't like the people they know. I see the gaining of life experiences at eight and eighty.

Of course there is evil and pain and suffering and complete aholes even in this wild place... I am not diminishing those experiences. I get yelled at and walked out on and I get pissed off at people often in this job. I also realize I often get to see people at their best (or at least on their time off) but I get to see regular people who are in an extraordinary place. Without our walls of the known, we are more open and more patient with each other. These places are wonderlands of wildness and natural beauty but they also have become places of human diversity and interaction. It's brilliant!

Holy cats, I know I sound like a kool-aid drinkin' fool right now but good glory does life make you smile until your face hurts sometimes. All it takes is five loving little kids, ten sweaty little hands, and a whole bunch of cool animal parts to make your day so much better.

Just hear this and then I'll go...

So, this is the crux. This is the undeniable hard part. This is goodbye.
Seasonal life is so fluid and real and all of the beautiful things and then it's time to say goodbye to a place. Everyday for the next seven days I have to soak in the scenery and feast with my eyes on the faces that are here. My ears have to be so, so sensitive to the voices of loved ones, of birds, of quiet so I can keep them with me.
How is it that I can leave the desert with so many hikes left undone or leave a new friendship with so many little silly questions left to ask? What do I even say about the fact I really have no guaranteed return ticket? Do we ever? It's just really hard.

Your job, if you choose to accept it:
Move to an absolutely gorgeous place and immerse yourself in the ecology, the culture, the history, the river, the mountains, the desert, the wind, the community.
Picture yourself here. BE PRESENT. Enjoy it.
Learn about it as much as possible, teach others about it. Share your joys and inspiration with them.
Don't OWN this place too much but just enough to give it your heart a bit so you care enough to protect it.
Make a little community, surround yourself with love and friendship because these people are just like SO MANY others on the planet, they are wise and wonderful and you are lucky to know them.
Make incredible memories with your people, and take lots of physical and mental photos.
Treasure it all.
Remember how lucky you are. Help others remember how lucky WE ALL are.
Be proud of yourself, you have succeeded here. People love you, you love them. You fit here.
OK, now leave. Fly off, little migrant bird, and do it all again in another place with other people and MAKE IT COUNT.  This is your story.

Constantly seeking the joy, even when its sure to bang up my heart. Yours, A.

realism

Working (and sweating) on my yoga mat this evening I could hear the storm outside beginning to build. Far away rumbles turned into drama and action and rain. There is little on this planet as deeply desired and cherished as a desert rain. It had been at least 4 months. Finding myself in an ever so painfully slow chaturanga on the moment of cloud burst, I happily leaped from the calm green of my mat out into the crash-bang of the storm. It was good to dance, bare feet slapping, face greeting pelting raindrops, my nose inhaling the rich fragrance of smoky, earthy wetness. It was a religious experience.

How do we find ourselves in these incredibly mysterious spaces? Is it our mind that muddles a reality that is so painfully simplistic we create these hidden places and meanings? Is the world so infinitely complex that the reality of every single experience IS actually that mysterious, that awe-inspiring that we cannot even begin to explain it to ourselves? Spending as much time in nature as I am so achingly blessed to do I am beginning to understand those idealistic crazies - the "mad ones" as Kerouac would say. The "good ones" as we said today. I am really finding it hard to imagine any other life being considered "reality" than the one found outside. Those feelings started long ago but this life is living in every sense of the word. After the storm, I headed up to Sotol Vista to get a glimpse of the sunset and hear the water churning through the arroyos on its way to the river. Surprisingly, I was instead greeted with a magnificent light show as another huge storm rolled across the Caballo Muerto and Chisos ranges. Being alone up there looking out into Mexico and back into the majestic face of another thundercloud, there was no other thing. Nature is both deeply complex and shockingly black and white- the floodwaters give life and yet wipe anything in the path away. It is everything.
Don't get me wrong,  I am not out here pulling a Muir yet. Far from it. The joys of creature comforts are many. I love the company of other people more than anything else in the world (depending on the company), my heart races in the presence of beautiful art and music, my face burns at the word sunshine, a warm shower and a soft bed are heaven but I just can't fathom a life spent with so much control. Living feels best and worst at the whim of nature - being in flux, in change, and immersing yourself up to the neck in the wild flow is becoming a non-negotiable for me. Living feels a lot like letting go... like dancing in the rain on a quiet Tuesday evening.

Wintertime and the Livin is easy

Sooooo, back after a long bout of silence but promises, promises I'll be back in the saddle again. I spent the winter in West TX at a new favorite National Park. The dry desert heat and cool mountain mornings make it an unforgettable place. The drought, the heat, the death, the flowers, the river, the wildlife all coexist in a way that just is. The park itself is impossible to know in its entirety, like another person, but by the end of our season we had enjoyed some of its character immensely. The community of rangers and staff made the experience easy and welcoming and I really loved it there.
In mid-April I migrated northward with the instinctual hope that I would return.

Proud

This week I have been reflecting on the National Park idea and how truly spectacular it all is.  Everytime I get close enough to a town to hear the radio, I hear a lot about the political scene heating up and I am just so glad that something this unifying exists. I am trying to remember and share with visitors how much this park truly belongs to them/us. It doesn't matter what kind of American you are. These places are yours. We do have lots of rules and guidelines but they are truly good and have been an idea, if not actualized, since the beginning. There is even a call to preserve the park for future persons, those that don't even exist right now. And this grand idea is actually being realized and practiced daily. Sure, it isn't perfect but we are actually safe guarding something alturistic, beautiful, and good. There are laws that limit pillaging and hypocrisy.  It's shockingly fabulous!

Lazy Sunday (Monday)

There is a certain beauty to free wifi, Jackson Lake Lodge, a view of the Tetons through the huge picture window, and a Snake River Lager. Hanging (100 yards away) with a little male yearling grizz on the way here made it even better.

I am enjoying the quiet of the house and location and are so glad to be here. Last week I checked out  two hikes that leave from our back yard; one of the hikes lead to a gorgeous waterfall. We laughed as we post-holed through the snow drifts and many times wound up with snow in our boots. On both hikes we saw lots of animal signs and scat (bison! moose! bear! wolf!). We have a few boar grizzlies that hang out near our abode and we like walking down to the river to see them in the evenings (packing bear spray, of course).   Other exciting sightings (from friends) in the area include moose and wolves but so far we haven't seen any so far.
Work life is wonderful, tomorrow I will give my first program which is on day hiking in bear country. I'll be giving 8 programs in total and love being able to choose what I want to study and teach.  It's been nice having this new job and new experiences. I had a great time during our 3 weeks of training and met some incredible people from all over the country. The hubs is loving it too- already having wild experiences including lots of snow and wind to make the roads especially fun for visitors. His birthday is at the end of the week and we'll celebrate with a nice dinner out (a luxury for sure) as we both requested to get off early.
We are forever seeking the joy of being alive. 

What a ride

I am officially here and honestly, it feels like home. The past few days have been full of smiles and warm greetings and stories, many stories. Our over-wintering friends are pulling themselves out of their winter dens (bears and humans) and embracing the spring that is arriving rather quickly. Although, for the humans at least, having all these people around again must take some getting used to. Their exuberance for our tales of adventures back East is refreshing and really kind. Yes, there is a lot of warmth in being back here even if the snow is still hip-high in places.

Training is underway and I have really enjoyed it. My time deep in the interior meeting new friends and seeing elk, marten, grizzlies, and water fowl at the lake has been wonderful. Two more weeks of training follow for me and yes, I'll enjoy my four days of "in town" training. I'll admit to dreaming of draft beers already. I am most excited for the day when we meet with some of the best resource experts in the country and learn all about the wildlife in depth. The training has been incredible so far and really has been stretching me.

My response from a piece of training asking why the park is relevant to me:

I find relevance in the wildness of this place. Wilderness here is the unique opportunity to be a part of an ecosystem, a participant, in a very real way. To see wild things and sleep in wild places creates something new inside of us. There is a certainty of your being in possession of the qualities of LIFE when you are here. There is no holding space or keeping time you must certainly be alive. The park not only encourages alertness, awe, excitement, humility it REQUIRES it. Reverence and respect are a given.